Its Ok, We can Stop Now

This has nothing to do with the regular blog here. Ok, maybe a little…

Mostly just responding to a post that caused me to question again the women/men equality thing.

I’m truly curious about a few things.

So men don’t have wombs and can’t carry babies for 9 months or give birth.

Curious if there is something special that men have that women don’t or it would be unfair. Besides anatomy. It’s a pretty big deal that women get to hold a baby inside for 9 months and then give birth to an eternal being. Then nurse.

What makes men special? And why do we obsess over being equal when every individual, male or female, is so unique?

Why do we have to prove ourselves (men or women)? I’m just as intelligent or strong or able, as you? But I’m not. And that’s fine. Because those “equalities” and achievements have nothing to do with my self worth. I know who I am. I am beloved. 💞

When it comes to equality of intelligence, stamina, gifts of kindness, gentleness, etc, there is no  arguement. Women and men all have various levels of those things (sorry ladies, I don’t have your gifts or stamina!😊) but its not like one sex has more than the other.

In a home, there is deep nuturing, care and companionship, as well as many practical things that need to be done.

What are the things women can not do that men can? Think about that a minute from a positive, not negative viewpoint.

What are the things men can not do that women can?

That is obvious. Men were not created to hold babies in the safe nuturing space of the womb. Men were not created to partake in the suffering and treasure of pregnancy – for it is there the beautiful truth of how valued and precious each person is begins.

It begins with joy, (I am speaking of what should be, not what always is…) but grows with the suffering of pregnancy, labor and birth that speaks to every infant and child, you are treasured. You are worth this.

Ifyou mess up, even really bad, you are still treasured and beloved. Know that is true, brloved child.

Once this eternal being comes forth out of the mother’s loving womb, it is only then that the father can fully join in the joy and pain. The joy of being that this infant human being is worth the diaper changes, the sleepless nights, the overtime, and dad, who may or may not be “equal” to mom in junior’s eyes, (baby wants momma’s milk) now enters in to the love and nuture and care of the beloved child while nuturing the mom.

I often have told my kids, the areas dad and I fail (they can tell you stories) are the areas that the One who knitted you in your mothers womb wants to come in and fully fill. He knows the numbers of hairs on your head. He delights in you.

Women’s careers?

Women have been in business for millenium. in history around 970 BC, a king mentions and praises an amazing hard working woman who starts by spinning yarn, making quality clothes, sells them, as an entrepreneur, over time produces enough income with savings to purchase a vineyard, then runs that with its workers successfully, all while caring for her husband and children, maintaining her home (with the help of servants, whom she directs) whew.

I’ve met women like that and it blows my brain. Y’all (that’s a Brooklyn “y’all” – long story) are amazing.

Not all women have that ability and that is fine, too. Same for men. Each has it’s place and humility, kindness and love make it beautiful.

But (don’t stone me please) I never could figure out how to care of hubby, sick kids and balance work. I needed to be there, and quite frankly, my Tardis is broken…🤷‍♀️ For me, (high right brain, highly suspect the left brain is atrophied) I had to step out, and (again don’t stone me) I may have had a few failed attempts before realizing though my mom could easily navigate these incredible challenges – I can’t.

So just a thought, maybe the boss’ questions aren’t so much about equality as experience?

I haven’t done the extensive research (hey, Google…) to determine what percentage of women vs men are currently in career workforce, or if there is a higher number of mothers than fathers that drop responsibilities at work to allow for responsibilities at home, but in the boss’ defense that was the norm for a really long time, so again maybe its not an insult on women’s abililies, just past experience of how many women have chosen to – or had to for the kids’ safety (not all can afford quality childcare) dropped out?

However, if the company has standard policy for missed work and time off, that should suffice and the moms or dad’s just need to plan for and abide by that.

Perhaps its rude for the boss to enquire in the potential customer’s personal affairs as to how they will be able to effectively get the work done – but job applications often ask if you have reliable transportation….

Simple research should give some clue if it’s inequality – or past experience – that’s motivating the questions, but even there an individual boss might have had a bad experience.

Idk. But if we smart off to defend ourselves against perceived insult, that will definitely let the potential boss know how we will respond to things we don’t like. Not necessarily a bad thing.

I got in trouble by the boss once for yelling, Yo, Bro! through the halls at work in Manhattan once trying to catch a driver before he left.

The boss sharply reprimanded me, “We do not yell, “Yo!” here unless you are from Brooklyn!” “But I’m from Brooklyn…!” (No one ever believed I was from Brooklyn🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️) I had to prove it, and did. Still got in trouble for yelling. But the boss knew where I stood and how I would act (true NYC attitude, with full apologies to my southern bell sisters) – and how I would act when corrected. (I didn’t yell again.)